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ON CELIBATE VOWS AND LIFE

I have taken the vow to remain celibate my whole life, but why do I still suffer from sexual thoughts, fantasies and dreams? * (Part 1 of 3)

Swami Nityananda Giri, It is natural – it is because of your vow. Nobody can change one’s life by force. The vow simply is a violent act against yourself. It will only repress your sex, and the repressed will take revenge; it will come on again and again and again. You will push it from one door, it will enter from another door. You cannot get rid of it so easily, so cheaply. Just the other day, Morarji Desai revealed that when he was the prime minister he had visited a nightclub in Canada, just to find out what was going on there. Now, why he should be interested in a nightclub? And whatsoever is going on there, why he is interested in it? At the age of eighty-two! And he had kept it a secret up to now; he never revealed it before. A repressed sexuality will haunt you to the very end of your life. Even when you will be dying you will be having sexual fantasies. Swami Nityananda Giri, it is still time – beware! Life is never changed by vows, life is changed by awareness. Never take a vow; the vow simply means that you are forcing something upon yourself.

Try to understand. When there is understanding there is no need to take a vow; your understanding is enough. You see something is wrong and it drops. Seeing is enough, understanding is enough; no other discipline is ever needed. Whenever you need some other discipline it means your understanding is lacking, something is missing in your understanding. You are trying to compensate your understanding by taking a vow, but the very taking of the vow shows that you are afraid of your sexuality. Then it will come, then it is bound to come.

And now you are asking me: Why do I still suffer from sexual thoughts, fantasies and dreams? You must be hoping that by taking a vow all this will stop. It is your vow that is causing it! If you have lived a natural life, if you have gone through the world and all its experiences of good and bad, pleasure and pain, you would have learned something; you would have come out of the world with understanding. But for centuries the so-called saints have depended on violence. They talk about non-violence, but they go on doing violence to themselves. <...>

A seventy year-old man went to see the doctor. ”I have been in practice for twenty-five years,” the doctor told him, ”and I have never heard of such a complaint What do you mean, your virility is too high?” The septuagenarian sighed. Pointing to his head, he said, ”It is all in my mind.” ”The virility has gone too high – it’s all in my mind.”

Now, Nityananda Giri, you have taken a vow. Your sexuality is repressed at its natural center: it has reached in your head, and that is far more dangerous because it will poison your head. Now in dreams, in thoughts, in fantasies it will come. Just go for a fast one day and you will see what I mean – you will think of food the whole day. Ordinarily you don’t think about the food at all; the food is not a problem. When you feel hungry you eat, and then all is forgotten. But go for a fast, and suddenly food becomes your obsession. It is a simple psychological fact. But religious people have been really stupid: simple facts they go on denying, and they can always rationalize. They will say, ”It is because of your past lives’ bad karmas that, Nityananda Gin, you are still suffering from sexual thoughts.” They will tell you to practice yoga, stand on your head, and all kinds of nonsense.

 

* - Excerpt from Osho video discourse „I am that“

 







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