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I want to find a perfect partner. Where do I start? *

Ojas MC © 
Ojas MC © 

Start with yourself, your needs, desires and imperfections. Don’t look for a perfect husband or wife because neither a perfect man needs a woman, nor a perfect woman needs a man. More so, imperfect. A perfect woman has already found her inner man and she doesn’t need an outer man, in a man’s world. And a perfect man has found his inner woman and he doesn’t need an outer one.

We need to start from where we are, and to look for a partner with a similar level of perfection, who complements the other, and with whom we can be happy and fulfilled at least for a moment. One moment lived righteously and straightforwardly will bring another fulfilling moment. If external behaviour is compatible with the inside, with an eternal and immortal inside, then every new moment will be complementary and fulfilling, growing and maturing. Even a tree and an animal know where to begin, how to grow. What happened to humans that they don’t even know the first step? They lost their inside. They jammed in so many norms, beliefs, gods, imagination and conditions between their outside and inside, the soul and the body, that they forgot and don’t know what they need and what fulfils them. This disaster, this disease can be cured. There’s a need to find the inside again.

Ojas MC ©
Ojas MC ©

If you are able to contract and concentrate, then you also can, at least slightly expand and relax. If you can move to the outside then you can also move to the inside. Both of these directions, both sides are complimentary to each other. One cannot exist without the other. Until now, you were looking to the outside, you listened to what others say, tried to feel, followed others, so now look to the inside, tune in, hear the inside and take a step from the inner sense. Otherwise any step will be a miss. Books, magazines, films, friends, and messiahs won’t do anything for you. They are not bad but, if only those things remain, then there is no you. First, discover physical, psychological, spiritual steps from your inside, from your nature; then you can include them. What suits grass or cabbage will not suit a rabbit, and what suits the rabbit will not suit a wolf. It is visible how vitality is flowing from the ground to the cabbage, from the cabbage to the rabbit, from the rabbit to the wolf. The wolf prepares a space for the grass in the ground. But the grass doesn‘t need to listen to the rabbit and the rabbit to the wolf. Everyone has to find the way of their existence and practice. And it has to come from our inside. Then everything will start to fall in its place.

Feel which man you like and are attracted to, not for his outside or some function but whom you just like and are attracted to, like the Earth attracts an object, and move towards him. If you find another man who attracts you more, just change direction. With the one you can relax with, feel free, who inspires you for action and life, go on a longer journey, learn, for at least one moment, to be open and whole. If you feel an answer, then walk together. It can be a person for a long path, entire life or even a couple of lives. But being together must follow from a match, supplementation, love, creativity and not from promises, vows or attachment. An understanding human being can’t guarantee that he will arrive in the same car he left with. It can break down, get stolen, or there can be a better way—an airplane. And what can be said about a living person? You will almost always find a chair where you left it but not a child. After finding a person with whom love flows, walk together, walk with love but don’t promise because a promise will destroy everything. Through a promise and vow love doesn’t flow. Similarly, a flower can swear to the Moon that it is her primary light source, that its light illuminates and awakens her and she will always look at it and rejoice in its light. But after the Sun comes out and all her childish promises go to waste or, if she stays loyal to her oath and keeps looking at the Moon, she will die because she needs to be turning to the Sun. Maybe your vitality will be flowing from you, maybe your heart will remain open, but you can’t guarantee for another. You can’t even guarantee for yourself because light and love have their flowing ways and those do not depend on their source.

Ojas MC © 
Ojas MC © 

Do not look for and do not seek a perfect partner because he might not be on the same path as you. Look for the one that complements you because you will complement him too. Look for the one with whom vitality flows to the heart and transforms into love. It will be enough; it will be more than you expect or ask for. And after finding your loved one, don’t think about the future, about a distant happy future. Love is like a flower, a garden. By looking into distance and not looking around, you might break the flower. It can be big, beautiful, flashing here and there, blooming and spreading a special aroma. But the flower and the garden require constant support, care, attention and it does not give any guarantees. If a garden guaranteed that it would always bloom, spread aroma and be beautiful – it would be hard for you to take care of it. Maybe even too hard. When you find a loved one, be attentive, cherish love, create it and share it. And in order to see what you need to do, meditate. Meditation gives eyes to the heart, peace to the soul. Meditators share not only heart but also the soul, not only love but also consciousness. It is much more than you can ask for or expect. It is more than a perfect partner – the person himself becomes perfect.

 

 

* - Excerpt from Prem Buddha. Meditation - Sharing of Soul.







Ojas Meditation Center

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